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WISHful thinking FOP+Simpsons

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Literature Text

The Simpsons/ FoP Crossover Fan-script

“Treehouse of Horror XIVIXXICIVI- Wishful Thinking”

Story and Written by:
slifertheskydragon and group (IRL names withheld)

DO NOT REPRODUCE OR DISTRIBUTE W/O PERMISSION
DO NOT CLAIM AUTHORSHIP

FRS 004

Opening gags:
Board: Bart writes: “I will not make pipe bombs in a dormitory”
Lisa plays the Fairly Oddparents theme on her Sax
Couch: The family sits on it, and it poofs in a pink cloud, and the Simpsons are shown in FoP Style

Opening scene:

EXTERIOR OF SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY- DAY

The bell rings, we see excited children exit the school.

CUT TO:

The interior of the class, students leave, LISA approaches MS. HOOVER.

LISA
Mrs. Hoover?

MRS. HOOVER
What is it Lisa? (annoyed)

LISA
Well, uh… I received an A minus on my book report, is there any way I can do extra credit to raise my grade?

MS. HOOVER
Fine Lisa, if you really want extra credit, then go do a report on… (pause) uh… the most influential individual in our community. I want it by the end of the week.

LISA
Oh, thank you Ms. Hoover! (does the “yay” jump) I’ll get on it right away! (runs out the door)


EXTERIOR OF THE SIMPSONS HOUSE- EVENING

CUT TO:

LISA, who is in the kitchen with newspapers and books, MARGE walks in:

MARGE
Hi honey, what are you working on?

LISA
Hi mom, I’m working on a report for extra credit on the most influential person in Springfield! Could you help me decide between these two people? I’ve been looking through the newspapers and I can’t decide! (She holds up newspaper articles- one about Professor Frink the other about Mr. Burns- the article about burns involves him with charity, but subtext reads “funded by the Republican Party”)

MARGE
Hmm, well honey, as much as I “love” (sarcasm) Mr. Burns, I think you should do your report on Professor Frink- you never hear much recognition about him, and he really does so much for us.

LISA
Thanks mom, I’ll go visit him- (she is interrupted by…)

Loud crash is heard in the living room MARGE and LISA turn around as HOMER chases BART into the kitchen. BART trips over a book LISA is using, then HOMER is strangling BART:

HOMER
Why you little! I’ll teach you to put mint frosting on my Apple pie!- (SFX: BART gagging)

MARGE
Homer! What are you doing?!? Let him go!

HOMER (angrily)
But now my pie’s all minty! Oh well.

HOMER gobbles up pie- he then starts foaming at the mouth- SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER walks in, HOMER looks at the dog-

HOMER
Hi boy! (SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER is scared, SEX: Dog yelps, then runs away. Homer’s stomach starts growling violently, a small scream is heard from inside his stomach.) Oh… my stomach…

BART
Hey Lis, what’cha doing? (grabs one of Lisa’s papers and reads the title)
“Krusty Burger: The New Lean Cuisine, or Environmental Nightmare?”

LISA  (hastily grabs paper back)
For your information, I’m writing a report on the most influential person in Springfield, and I’ve decided to do a report on professor Frink. I’m going to visit his lab tonight.

BART
Professor Frink? That nerd? Why don’t you do a report on someone cool, like Krusty? Did you know that Krusty burgers now have 0% Trans fat?

LISA
Yes Bart, but they now have 300% more cholesterol. Not to mention the fact that Krusty was going to use the endangered panda meat in his next burger?

BART
Oh. Well whatever, I’ll see you later, Lis.

LISA
I’m gonna go now, I called and Frink’s expecting me! see you mom! Love you bye! (tries to get out hastily)

MARGE
Oh no, you don’t! Bart! Go with your sister to the lab, I don’t want you wandering around the streets alone!

LISA
Mom it’s ok it’s only 5pm!

BART
Mom, why don’t you just get Homer to do it!?

MARGE
Because your father got food poisoning from your little prank, and I’ve got to take him to the hospital.

BART
Oh, alright… (grumbles)

We follow Bart and Lisa as they exit the house (night) and bike to Frink’s house, (Frink has a lab in his house) and Lisa rings the doorbell:

FRINK (over the intercom/speaker)
(Frink greeting thing- mgoy! Hoy!n-glayvin!) Who is it?

LISA
Professor Frink? It’s me, Lisa Simpson!

FRINK
Mghoy! Greetings and salutations Lisa! Come in!

Door opens, revealing a robot servant, on the robot’s face, Frink’s face shows up

FRINK
Now if you’ll just follow XJ-9, she’ll lead you down to the lab- gylavin!

Bart and Lisa follow the robot to the lab, where Frink is turned around, sparks are flying

LISA
Um, Professor?

FRINK
Wait Lisa! For I am making… (SFX: zapping) TOAST! (Frink puts down his toast and tools) Now Lisa, I heard that you’re doing a report on the most influential person in Springfield, and I must say it’s really flattering for you to have chosen me- mgyonglay! Now what is it you need for your report?

LISA
Well, if its not too much trouble, I was wondering if you could give us a tour of your lab and answer some of my questions?

FRINK
Why certainly, Lisa! Right this way… Now before we begin, I must insist that you DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!! (coughs) alright… (Frink starts a tour of his lab Bart and Lisa pass by tables with stuff on them) Here you’ll see the various beakers and glassware I use in my experiments, (Bart picks up a beaker with green liquid in it) and here you’ll see my prototype muffin-earmuffs! (Frink sees Bart with the chemical, and grabs the beaker from Bart) What did I say about touching stuff, young man!?

LISA
You’ll have to excuse my brother, he can be “rital-out”ted sometimes.

FRINK
(coughs) well, yes, now if you’ll please follow me, and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE, (they pass a rather large machine) And here, you’ll see my prototype inter-dimensional matter transporter! In theory this machine is capable of teleporting any object into an alternate location or universe- just think how it will revolutionize transportation as we know it! (an alarm goes off lights and siren go off)
Oh dear lord, that sounds like it’s coming from containment chamber 3!!! You’ll have to excuse me Lisa, I have to go attend this leak otherwise we’ll all be dead!

Frink runs off, Bart approaches the machine

BART
Hey Lis, check me out- (he starts hitting all the buttons and playing with the machine) I’m a scientist!

LISA
Bart, no! Stop that! You don’t know what you’re doing! (Lisa grabs Bart)

BART
Let- go!!!

As they fight, they hit and push certain levers, activating the machine, and as they fight, they trip into the machine, where they disappear. Frink returns, tired and sweaty

FRINK
Well, now that that problem’s solved, mgylavin, lets continue with the tour, shall we Li- (looks around, children are gone) sa?

Next Scene: Fairly OddParents world (EXTERIOR OF DIMMSDALE- DAY)

DISSOLVE TO:

TIMMY TURNER as he walks down the street with Cosmo and Wanda- disguised as dogs.

TIMMY
Man, what a bad day! I got beat up by Francis, embarrassed in front of Trixie, and not to mention Vicky’s babysitting today!

WANDA
Well you have us sport, to make it better!

COSMO
Yeah, I bet you couldn’t last one day without us, Timmy!

TIMMY
Oh yeah? I bet I could! If I can go one day without out you guys, then Cosmo has to experience the joy of childbirth in the future and no one will remember or question why male fairies have babies!

WANDA
Alright, but if we win, then you can’t wish for Britney Britney anymore!

TIMMY
You’re on!  Cosmo, Wanda, I wish you were someone else’s fairies for a day!

Cosmo and Wanda poof away, and then cut to Bart and Lisa,
Bart and Lisa fall out of a wormhole in the sky and fall on the ground

BART
Oh man, where are we? (looks at himself) why am I so flat? (looks at Lisa) WHOA- you got ugly!

LISA
Bart! I am not! Judging by our surroundings I’d say we’ve landed in another dimension… way to go Bart, not only are we stuck here, but now I can’t do my report!

BART
Don’t have a cow, Lis!

CUT TO:

Cosmo and Wanda, who talk to each other behind a tree, we see Bart and Lisa in the background, on the other side of the street.

COSMO
Well now what?

JORGEN poofs in

JORGEN
Cosmo, Wanda, because Timmy has wished you to someone else for a day, you will now be reassigned to the next most miserable kid in the area! And according to my wand, that would be Bart and Lisa Simpson! Now GO! (Jorgen taps his wand, Cosmo and Wanda poof out)

LISA
Bart, what are we going to do!? Now we’re stuck here, who knows where, and I’m not going to get an A on my paper!

Cosmo and Wanda poof in dramatically

COSMO
Hi Bart, hi Lisa! I’m Cosmo!

WANDA
And I’m Wanda!

COSMO and WANDA
And we’re your Fairy Godparents! … for a day!

BART
Fairy what?

WANDA
Fairy Godparents, we’re here to make your day better by granting almost any wish!

LISA
I don’t believe that fairy godparents could possibly exist!

WANDA
Well, why don’t you try making a wish?

LISA
Fine, I wish we were home!

Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands, and poof! Bart, Lisa, Cosmo and Wanda are back in Springfield, in the morning (time shift between dimensions)

BART
Whoa- are we really back? Hey I’m not flat and you’re not ugly!

LISA
(grumbles) at any rate, we should go back to Professor Frink’s house so I can finish my report.

BART
Whoa Lis, hold on! We’ve got two Fairy Godparents who can grant us any wish that we want! ANY wish! I gotta go tell Milhouse!

WANDA
You can’t! If you reveal to anyone that we’re Fairies or if someone finds out, then we’ll have to leave you forever!

BART
Well, fine, then I wish I had a million dollars!

WANDA
We can’t do that either- there’s rules about wishes and one of them is that we can’t counterfeit!

BART
Rules, Schmules, I wish that there were no rules!

COSMO
OK! (waves wand)

WANDA
Cosmo no!!!

Cosmo waves his wand and the wish goes through, big poof, and afterwards, everything looks the same, only street lights and traffic signs disappear, and we follow the wave of magic as it goes and the police station disappears, and Wiggum is left in his underpants

BART
Whoa cool, a rule-free world!

Bart looks around, there’s people running around naked, criminals running about free, and Snake robs a bank. Look at the street, where cars are swerving and crashing into one another.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Hello Bart. (Bart turns around to see it’s Sideshow Bob!)

BART
AHH! It’s Sideshow Bob!

SIDESHOW BOB
Hello Bart. And goodbye. (he tries to stab him, but Bart jumps out of the way)

LISA
Bart! There are rules for a reason! Without them our society would fall into mass chaos and anarchy! I wish that the rules were back! (Wanda quickly waves her wand, and undoes the wish, and everything returns back to normal)
Let me make a wish… um… I wish my cat, Snowball I came back!

WANDA
We can’t do that sweetie- that’d be reviving the dead. If we could, we’d have a bunch of undead pets-who-ran-away-from-home-during-summer-camp running around…

LISA
Well, then I wish that Zack Efron was in love with me!

WANDA
We can’t do that because we can’t interfere with true love!

COSMO
Yeah, we’re not Cupid! Or are we…? (Wanda glares at him) Ok, we’re not.

LISA
I know! I wish that Tibet was free! (Cosmo and Wanda waves their wands, then Bart and Lisa overhear the TV in their house)

KENT BROCKMAN
This is Kent Brockman with breaking news! Due to Tibet declaring independence, several countries surrounding the area are now declaring war to claim the country of Tibet! Now we go live to the President of the United States for his emergency address to the nation.

PRESIDENT (You know it’s Bush, but we’re not saying it’s Bush. Or are we?)
People of the Nation, due to the recent outbreak of war in Asia, the United States has initiated a draft to aid the Allied forces in Asia. Due to the recent war in Iraq, our military forces are stretched very thin, so this draft will instate all males 10 years and older, effective immediately.

KENT BROCKMAN (puts on a sombrero and has his suitcase)
This is now what experts are calling the beginning of World War III! This is Kent Brockman, saying, Viva Mexico! Adios amigos!

We follow Kent Brockman as he runs out the studio and jumps in the helicopter, where we follow it to the border between the US and Mexico. Where we see that at the line, we see that the Mexicans and Americans trade places by running towards the other country










HOMER (comes out in a dress and mop wig)
Bart, quick, put on this dress and get in the car, we’re going to Mexico!

BART
Way to go, Lis.

LISA
I never meant for a World War! I wish I never made that wish!

Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands, undoing the wish

LISA
Well that could’ve gone better….

BART
I’ve got it! The best wish any 10-year-old could ever want! I wish that it’ll rain chocolate!

CUT TO:

Dimmsdale and go to the Interior of Timmy’s house, where we see Timmy being tortured by Vicky

TIMMY (hiding in a closet from Vicky, staring frantically at his watch, he’s barring the door)
Only a minute left!

VICKY (angrily shouting)
TWERP! WHERE ARE YOU!

Split screen , one side, Timmy with his watch, counting down:

TIMMY
3…2…1…

The other side of the split screen is with Wanda in Springfield:

WANDA
My Timmy-sense is telling me that time’s up! (Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands so that a big pink poof shows up, and Cosmo and Wanda are back with Timmy trapped in the closet)

COSMO
Why are we trapped in the closet?

R KELLY’S VOICE in the background is singing as we follow Vicky doing the same actions:
Then she walks back to the room
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
She looks at the closet
She walks up to the closet
She goes up to the closet
Now she’s at the closet
She’s opening the closet…

VICKY
I know you’re in the closet! COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! TWERP! (Vicky is about to open the door)

TIMMY
Cosmo, Wanda! I wish everything was back to the way it’s supposed to be before I made that wish today, and that only we remembered any of this ever happening!

CUT TO:

SPRINGFIELD, INTERIOR OF FRINK’S HOUSE- NIGHT Bart and Lisa poof over the Trans-dimensional machine, falling onto and breaking it. Bart and Lisa get up.
LISA
Why do I feel like a Free Tibet isn’t so great anymore?

BART
Hey, Lis, for some reason… A world without rules doesn’t seem all that great. But I still hate them. You can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them. (Frink enters to see his destroyed machine)

FRINK
Oh dear God, what happened to my machine!?

LISA
Uh, I think I have all the info I need for my report, k, thanks, bye! (Both Bart and Lisa run out)

CUT TO:

Cosmo and Wanda in Dimmsdale, Timmy’s house

COSMO
Hey I think Bart actually made that chocolate wish! (happily waves his wand)

CUT TO

SPRINGFIELD, EXTERIOR OF THE SIMPSONS HOUSE- AFTERNOON where it starts raining chocolate

Homer (walks outside)
Oh my God!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU LORD!!! (gleefully runs around with mouth open, and tears of joy fall from his eyes)

FADE TO BLACK

THE END
I had to do a Simpsons mini-script (10-15 pages) for my "Satire in the Simpsons" class (pm me if you want to know which school you can take this awesome class XD ) and I decided to do a FOP/Simpsons crossover in which Bart and Lisa got Cosmo and Wanda for a day. I worked with a group of 7 so we could put in jokes and keep everyone as in-character as possible.

This was fun to write, and i thank the group for participating and helping out so much! (i now have a new respect for the script writers for shows. comedy is hard! D: )
© 2008 - 2024 slifertheskydragon
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